Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
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