Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
