I think my vagina is haunted
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
