Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
