We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
