Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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