dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
