Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
