ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
