Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
