I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
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