it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
