Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
