dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
