if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
