Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Randomize
