We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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