I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
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I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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