Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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