I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
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whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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