yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
When are your genitals available?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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