If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
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