Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize