idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
She even gives head with a lisp.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
