i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
