He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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