Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
what day is it and did you see me today?
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Randomize
