i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
