what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
