its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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