I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize