once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
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I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
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I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize