I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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