Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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