thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
