I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
