He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
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