So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
