i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
