what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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