i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This gyro tastes like lonliness
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
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