Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
