we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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