Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
