I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
