She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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