If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
