I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
