i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize