With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Randomize
