Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Houston, we have a squirter
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
