she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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