You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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