And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
