Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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