One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
