Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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