all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
