i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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