Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
being pregnant is like rehab
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
