Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
