Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
found the other keg... it's in the tree
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
