I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Randomize