sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
