You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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