By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
